A few weeks ago I played the song "Keep On" for the boys. For those of you who remember when The Brady Bunch was a singing group, yes, it was that version. Yesterday we were in the car sitting in the Walgreen's drive-thru line and I asked the boys if they wanted to listen to music. Elliott quickly and excitedly said "Keep On!" I then ended up playing it about 4 times. It was a proud mom moment.
I have a lot of proud mom moments. Take, for example, the video below. Elliott was the first of our trio identified as needing physical therapy services. When faced with obstacles at parks and play areas he will often ask other kids for help. A couple of weekends ago he managed the ledge and ropes of this play area by himself for the first time. So many things about this make me proud - his problem solving skills by using the wire to hang on, positioning his body on the ropes in order to reach the next ledge and push himself over, his persistence in being determined to do it himself, and of course, his physical ability. This same trip Henry climbed up and found the slide - over and over - by himself. He is often the one who is more hesitant about engaging in physical activity. This time around he was laughing and having fun. I was so proud of his confidence and his physical activity. Ethan is so affectionate. At night when I tuck him in he just snuggles and giggles. He takes care of his brothers and it is adorable. In that he's learning to slow down and be gentle with the people and the world around him - and that makes me proud. When you're little, there is so much to learn about the world and the people in it. Sometimes that learning is hard and in those moments my heart breaks for them. It's tough to see your littles struggle, even when you know the importance of those struggles. Sometimes I find myself getting caught up in life - in the responsibilities of life, in the chase for tenure. Some days I lose sight of what is most important. There are for sure days when I wouldn't earn the mom of the year award. At times I feel inadequate and that I'm not enough of what they need me to be. Then there are moments, like the other night when Diane and I were watching "This Is Us" that I'm reminded of what is most important. - *spoiler alert if you haven't seen this week's episode* - Randall had been caught up in his election and in a moment of realization he came home and told his wife and 3 daughters that he knew they were what made him special. And I was reminded of what in life truly makes me special...Diane, Elliott, Ethan and Henry. When everything else about my life is peeled away, they are the elements without whom I could not live. So, while I'll still fulfill my other responsibilities and I'll continue to chase tenure, I will also keep reminding myself of my greatest investment and pour more into their lives, in our lives together, than in any solitary desire of my own.
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This winter break between semesters has reminded me why academia is a great field to be in when you have a family. We have had so much fun! From cupcake making, to magnetic block building, giant Jenga, and their first snowman - the fun is never-ending at our house. So much laughter!
The boys are starting to play more with each other - which is quite entertaining to watch. They jabber and jointly get into mischief. But, they are also becoming more affectionate, offering hugs and snuggling with each other and us more. We read a ton of books in our house - easily 30 a day. I've got quite a few children's books memorized at this point. Mr. Brown can moo - can you? There is nothing in this world that warms my heart like the laughter of my children. |
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November 2020
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