Our boys are amazing. It seems like every day they accomplish something by themselves that had previously required assistance. I want to shout to the world about how amazing they are; to write post after post about their fabulousness. Yet, at the same time I often find myself at a loss for words. We have three happy, healthy, smart, funny, sweet, energetic, cuddly, loving, individual little boys. Not all triplet stories end up so positive. Each and every day I am thankful for the gift of them.
​ The boys will turn 3 next month. How is that possible?! They are learning to sit in regular chairs at restaurants, are busy exploring the world, and love books, and sleeping in their tents. Paw Patrol is big deal to all of them. Henry loves fire trucks and rides one around the house most of the day. Elliott loves to build things with block, legos, anything that is stackable really. Ethan loves to play games/puzzles with his mommas. They are three unique little boys and I can't wait to see how their interests develop. ​
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A few weeks ago I played the song "Keep On" for the boys. For those of you who remember when The Brady Bunch was a singing group, yes, it was that version. Yesterday we were in the car sitting in the Walgreen's drive-thru line and I asked the boys if they wanted to listen to music. Elliott quickly and excitedly said "Keep On!" I then ended up playing it about 4 times. It was a proud mom moment.
I have a lot of proud mom moments. Take, for example, the video below. Elliott was the first of our trio identified as needing physical therapy services. When faced with obstacles at parks and play areas he will often ask other kids for help. A couple of weekends ago he managed the ledge and ropes of this play area by himself for the first time. So many things about this make me proud - his problem solving skills by using the wire to hang on, positioning his body on the ropes in order to reach the next ledge and push himself over, his persistence in being determined to do it himself, and of course, his physical ability. This same trip Henry climbed up and found the slide - over and over - by himself. He is often the one who is more hesitant about engaging in physical activity. This time around he was laughing and having fun. I was so proud of his confidence and his physical activity. Ethan is so affectionate. At night when I tuck him in he just snuggles and giggles. He takes care of his brothers and it is adorable. In that he's learning to slow down and be gentle with the people and the world around him - and that makes me proud. When you're little, there is so much to learn about the world and the people in it. Sometimes that learning is hard and in those moments my heart breaks for them. It's tough to see your littles struggle, even when you know the importance of those struggles. Sometimes I find myself getting caught up in life - in the responsibilities of life, in the chase for tenure. Some days I lose sight of what is most important. There are for sure days when I wouldn't earn the mom of the year award. At times I feel inadequate and that I'm not enough of what they need me to be. Then there are moments, like the other night when Diane and I were watching "This Is Us" that I'm reminded of what is most important. - *spoiler alert if you haven't seen this week's episode* - Randall had been caught up in his election and in a moment of realization he came home and told his wife and 3 daughters that he knew they were what made him special. And I was reminded of what in life truly makes me special...Diane, Elliott, Ethan and Henry. When everything else about my life is peeled away, they are the elements without whom I could not live. So, while I'll still fulfill my other responsibilities and I'll continue to chase tenure, I will also keep reminding myself of my greatest investment and pour more into their lives, in our lives together, than in any solitary desire of my own.
This winter break between semesters has reminded me why academia is a great field to be in when you have a family. We have had so much fun! From cupcake making, to magnetic block building, giant Jenga, and their first snowman - the fun is never-ending at our house. So much laughter!
The boys are starting to play more with each other - which is quite entertaining to watch. They jabber and jointly get into mischief. But, they are also becoming more affectionate, offering hugs and snuggling with each other and us more. We read a ton of books in our house - easily 30 a day. I've got quite a few children's books memorized at this point. Mr. Brown can moo - can you? There is nothing in this world that warms my heart like the laughter of my children. ​ As you can imagine, the days at our house are pretty busy. We spend a lot of time reading books. It's a favorite pass-time of all of us. We also like to go to the mall play place and to shop for after Christmas sales. On the days we stay home we try to be creative and have different activities in which the boys can engage. With those activities we try to include varying tactile experiences. This time around Diane devised the plan to get some toy trucks and animals to play with in the 'mud' (also known as chocolate pudding). It also included walls of graham cracker and rocks of marshmallows. Thanks to the dollar store this fun and messy activity cost around $8 and was worth every penny. The boys had a blast! They are really enjoying activities in which they get permission to make a mess. :-) Each day with these boys is a blessing. No, every day isn't perfect. Yes, being 2 can be hard and the lessons constant it seems. However, the smiles, giggles, imagination, laughter, and love are immeasurable. I get up each day ready for as much of that as I can absorb into my being. Two of the great things about working in academia are the flexibility of my schedule and the time that I get to spend with Diane and the boys. That time is becoming more valuable to me with each passing day. The boys are growing so fast and we have so much fun. The days are full of smiles and laughter. Just before the holiday break from work the boys and I were fortunate to have the chance to spend the afternoon together while Diane was at work. They slept late into the morning so there was no afternoon nap. Diane brought us the car and we went on a grand adventure. First we tried out a new park. It was tons of fun, but it was little chilly out. So, the boys and I headed to the Vadalabene Center where they rode their scooters and played in the gymnasium. When the days gave way to holiday break then the festivities began. The boys got their first taste of helping us make cut out sugar cookies. They helped make the dough, roll it out, cut out the cookies, and put them on the cookie sheet to be baked. Oh, and of course, they helped us eat them! Christmas Eve was a day of fun! Aunt Tiffany and Uncle Joe gave the boys finger paints and pipes they could play with in the tub. Henry thought that having permission to make a mess was amazing. The boys had a blast - although Elliott wasn't sure about this messy business! Christmas morning was a blast with the boys. It was a whirlwind of excitement. They each have a canvas bag with their name on it that we used to put their presents in this year. They got dinosaurs, a book, and puppy fruit snacks. They were thrilled! We intentionally kept Christmas focused on our time together, rather than on presents. The day ended with a drive to look at Christmas lights. While we were driving around Henry declared that he was hungry. It just so happened that Steak-n-Shake was open. So, we went through the drive thru and got some food. Then I drove to downtown Edwardsville and parked along the street. While we were sitting in the car talking and eating I looked across the street and in the window of a shop full of retro decorations was an old console tv and on it was playing A Charlie Brown Christmas. There we sat, just our little family, hanging out, chatting and munching on french fries while Christmas lights decorated street lamp poles and Linus told everyone the true meaning of the holiday. It was magic. It was perfection. We made our annual trek to see Uncle Joe, Aunt Tiffany, Cousin Lily and Cousin Zion for a wonderful week of family and fun over Thanksgiving. The boys did great on the plane ride both ways. In Raleigh the boys got to ride the shuttle to the rental car office for the first time. It was very exciting! The weather was beautiful and allowed us time to play outside. They enjoyed playing on the trampoline, crawling through the tunnels, and kicking a soccer ball around the yard. We also got a chance to go to Pullen Park in Raleigh. Created in 1887, it is the first public park in North Carolina. It is the 5th oldest operating amusement park in the U.S. and the 16th in the world. Aunt Tiffany bought us tickets to ride the train and the carousel. Elliott and Ethan learned how to go up and down on a teeter-totter together. The boys had a great time. Aunt Tiffany made us a fabulous Thanksgiving dinner. We got time to visit with everyone and the boys had so much fun playing with family. They loved hanging out in Lily's room, playing with her toys, and listening to her read books to them. We are so thankful for the time we got to spend with family and for the chance to see our friends Jill and Mike. When we get in the car we're still hearing "Go to Uncle Joe's?" from the back seat. Mommas' aren't the only ones fond of visiting North Carolina. Looks like we'll be going back! :-) Time seems to go faster when you're an adult. I remember my mom telling me this when I was little, but I didn't get it. Now, as I look at the boys, it makes total sense. I can't believe that they are closer to 3 than 2 at this point. How did that happen? They are such happy, smart, fun-loving boys. We spend a lot of time laughing and acting silly. "Go have fun" is a common phrase in our house. Recent firsts have included riding a city bus to campus, riding the choo-choo train at the zoo, and riding on top of a fire truck. All very exciting! They love going to the park, PetCo, Chuck E. Cheese, and Sam's (they give great free cookies!). Painting their nails and eating popsicles on the porch are favorite pastimes at home. They still love books, and reading stories anytime during the day is great fun. We are all tired at the end of the day, but it is definitely worth it! Typically Diane works on Monday and I don't have the car so we can only do what is in walking distance. But, Momma Diane is sick this week and couldn't make it into work - which meant the boys and I had the car. In an effort to give her a chance to rest I loaded the boys up and we headed out on an adventure. It is ridiculously hot here and our adventure needed to be inside. I opted for Fairview Heights mall which is about 20 minutes or so from our house. Many of you have seen pictures of our car and know that our boys are squeezed into the backseat with no room to spare. This can make road trips challenging as the boys are able to reach into each other's space, take toys/drinks/snack cups/shoes, or just lay their legs over each other. Often the passenger is a referee. Well, before I pulled out of the driveway I loaded each boy up with their drink, snack cup, and toys of choice. I then explained that Momma Diane was resting at home so she could feel better. I told them that since I was driving I wasn't going to be able to help them if they drop something so they needed to hang onto their things and be nice to each other on the way to play. I then turned on The Greatest Showman soundtrack and away we went. These boys were A-MA-ZING! They jabbered and giggled and ate snacks. When a song would finish they would say "another one" or "again". I swung through Chic-Fil-A and got dinner to take to the mall. We hung out. We ate. They played on the cars and we walked around the mall. They listened and stayed with me. There was no fighting. No unhappiness about anything. We finished our adventure with a cookie and headed home. Once again on the drive home they were angels. We talked and laughed and listened to music. At one point I heard Ethan saying "cheese!" I glanced back to see him 'taking a selfie' with his toy phone. I figured if our adventure was selfie-worthy for him that they, too, thought we had a great day! :-) It is not uncommon for people to say to us "I don't know how you do it". My answer is always "you just do it". But, honestly, I think having three babies in the NICU for 6-7 weeks and watching them fight to develop when they leave the womb too early gives a parent a unique perspective on life and parenting. Any tough day at home will always be better than the best day in the NICU. These boys bring an unending amount of joy and love into our lives. I am humbled and blessed to be able to guide them through each stage of their development and be on the receiving end of the hugs, love, kisses. and giggles. How does one's heart hold so much love? The term development can be defined as an event constituting a new stage in a changing situation. For us right now, the changing situation is the daily growth and evolution of Elliott, Ethan, and Henry and the things that they know and are capable of doing. Currently, a new stage of that ever-changing situation is the loss of the boys’ fabulous development therapist as she moves on to new opportunities and using her skills to help other children. By definition developmental therapists help children and families develop strategies to maximize physical and emotional development. What are not explained by that definition are the nuances of the best of the best development therapists – and we were blessed to have one of the very best. We’ve had the distinct pleasure of Miss Erin working with the boys, coming to the house every week. She brought her knowledge and skills as a developmental therapist to aid them in improving their cognitive, fine motor, speech, and physical abilities. But beyond that, she brought her heart. The boys were never a job to her; they were people with unique thoughts and feelings. Watching her interact with them I could see that she truly saw them as the individual human that they each are. While she worked with them she also truly played with them, laughing, being silly and genuinely enjoying her time with them. As for us moms, she became a trusted friend, someone we could confide in about the challenges of parenting triplets, someone who didn’t just see us as triplet moms, but as individual women with emotions and needs who did their best to be good mommas while maintaining some sense of who we are as people. She offered advice from the experience of a developmental therapist and as a mom herself and helped us maintain a little bit of sanity. Erin, thank you for sharing a little of you with us. The joy and light that you brought to our house will be treasured forever. We are all better people for knowing you and we will miss you! It's hard to believe that summer is coming to a close. It's back to the normal work schedule in about 10 days and fewer hours with my beauties. I love the academic life and the time it affords me to spend with my little loves.
It's been a fun summer! We've been to the zoo, the magic house, the splash pad, our friends' house to swim and so many other places to play. The boys rode a carousel for the first time. They learned about doing dishes. How to sit in the freezer to stay cool. We had picnics on the deck and did a lot of splashing in the pool. The boys also got their car seats turned around to forward facing. There are many more little things that happened, too many to capture here, and I don't always have my phone to take pictures because I'm living the moments with these amazing little humans. |
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November 2020
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